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Learning to be still..

There is an old saying that says "Patience is a virtue." If you are anything like me, you hate that saying for several reasons. 1. You hate to wait and 2. Patience is not a virtue, it is torture. I hate waiting in long lines, waiting for the traffic to move, waiting to get promoted, waiting to graduate. I HATE TO WAIT. So much so, I actually don't like to cook or bake because I hate to wait for the food to be ready lol. If I want it, I want it now.

How many times do we come before God and say "God, I've waited for x amount of days, months, weeks or years! When am I going to get my miracle. I am tired of waiting. I want it now!" We know that God knows what we want and need but we forget that He knows when is the right time for us to receive our miracle. Maybe you have been single for a very long time or maybe you never had a boyfriend and you are yearning to be in a relationship. Maybe you are married and you are asking God for a child but every doctor is telling you that it is physically impossible for you to get pregnant. Whatever it is, you are waiting for God to move in your life and it just seems like your patience is running out. Let me tell you what the Spirit has been telling me, Be Still.

Be Still? You read correctly, be still. I am just learning this and it is very fresh to me. I am still processing what it looks like to be still when I just made a major life decision not to long ago. I recently broke off my engagement with a man that loved with all my heart. We were dating for a year and a half and I was convinced this was the man that God had for me. I always told this man "You are my miracle." Truly, he was. He courted me, served me, loved me, and supported me. I adored him and cherished him and the Lord taught me how to love him. You are probably thinking "why did you break off the engagement?" Well, allow me to open my heart with you.

In every relationship, there is a lot of ups and downs. The moment I said "YES" when he popped the question was the moment our relationship shifted. I felt the pressing of the Holy Spirit to break it off but I had a dream. I had a dream that I was going to walk down the aisle with my beloved waiting for me in my white dress. I had already started looking and trying on wedding dresses. We bought our wedding bands, set a date and the Lord is telling me to end my relationship with a man that I am in love with? You can imagine the back and forth conversations I had with God. Trust me, it was a process to understand what the Lord was telling me. But, I know who I serve. I know He has a plan and a purpose in my life and I trust him. So, I fasted. Yes, I said that F word that many Christians hate, fasting lol. I gave up all social media for 5 days so I can truly tune into the voice of God. Now as a millennial, social media is my LIFE! Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest! How else was I going to entertain myself! At this moment, I couldn't entertain myself. I had to focus and listen to the voice of God. Everyone had their own opinion as to what I should do but I had to listen to the voice of God and tune out every other voice.

The five days were up and I had to meet my fiance face-to-face and decide whether or not we was going to move forward in our relationship. I was sure, I was certain and I was convinced that I was making a decision that was 100% directed by God. So, I called off the wedding and broke off our relationship. Was it hard? Yes. I held back my tears and stayed firm. I did not want my emotions to play apart on what God was speaking to me. I wanted my emotions to stay on the sideline and have the spirit take full control of the conversation. As we said our good-byes to each other, I knew I pleased the Father. Going through a breakup is hard no matter what stage of the relationship you are in. In my case, I was getting married and getting ready to share my life with someone. But, the Lord was been teaching me a valuable lesson in this season. He has been teaching me to Be Still.

I always dreamed of one day meeting my prince charming and living my happily ever after. I can't help it, I am a hopeless romantic at heart. But, I was always so focused on meeting my "prince charming" that I never truly dedicated myself to Lord 100%. Of course I serve God through my worship and serving in my church but, I never been with the Lord by myself. It was always me, God and a plus one. God put a halt on my desire for marriage and taught me to Be Still and know that He is God (see Psalm 46:10) . He knows the desire of my heart, but I need to wait and dedicate myself to Him. For a month, I have been doing just that. Let me testify: the moment I broke off my engagement was the moment I fully allowed God to steer my life. I am the biggest control freak you will ever meet but I love the Lord more than I love cereal (and that is a lot to say if you really know me lol) From that day forward, doors have been opening up on my behalf. I have been in fellowship with people who love the Lord as much as I do and they remind me daily to pursue God and keep my eyes as well as my mind on Kingdom like things.

It is easy to get caught up on what you have, had and want. God is telling you to be still. We get caught up on the amount of time we spent on waiting for a particular miracle that we forget that there is a lesson within our storm. I encourage you to be still and know that He is God. He has you in the palm of His hand. Whatever you are waiting for, know that He is willing and eagerly to give it to you but you need to surrender and enjoy the process. Yes, I said enjoy the process because in your process the greatest miracle will be released on your behalf and you will learn who God truly is in your life.

Last night in church, a prophet came and he was speaking on Mark 4:35-41. In the midst of the sermon he said this "Your storm will show you a side of God that you did not know." The disciples were on a boat in the middle of a lake when a storm came. Jesus was sleeping and they woke up Jesus and said in verse 38 "Teacher, is it nothing to you we're going down?" (Message Version) Jesus woke up, rebuke the wind and reprimanded the disciples. In verse 41 of the message translation it says "They were in absolute awe, staggered. 'Who is this anyway?' they asked. 'Wind and sea at his beck and call!'" Your storm will show you a side of God that you did not know. The disciples walked with Jesus every day and yet, they did not know the power Jesus had. We serve the Lord every day and yet, we do not know the power that is within Him. The winds obey His command and the demons tremble at the mention of His name. We serve an almighty God. He hears your cry and He sees your tears. You want to know why Jesus was sleeping during the storm (again, referencing to the preaching I heard last night), it is because He is sure of the word He has spoken over your life. Take heart, there was a storm but Jesus was in the boat. If you are going through the storm and feel like God is sleeping--know that He is sure of the word He has released over your life. Don't rush the process. Enjoy the process. Praise Him during the storm because Jesus is in the boat. Jesus is with you in the storm.

Be encourage. Your miracle is on its way. Your husband is on its way, your child is on its way, your job is on its way, and provision is on its way BUT "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted among the earth." Psalm 46:10.

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